tokyo: A city of new and old
An Interview With Japanese Citizen, Shinobu May, who was raised in Tokyo and married an American.
“Mom, where am I”
“When I was growing up, my family only owned one car which is very normal in cities because public transportation is very well organized, very punctual. And if you drive in Tokyo, it’s hard for you to estimate time because traffic is so heavy. My dad drove his car to work, so the rest of us caught buses and trains and stuff like that.
“Children in Tokyo, some of them go to private school, so they have to start learning how to catch trains on their own when they’re 6 which is not what I did. I went to public school, so I lived within walking distance from the school district.
“A lot of children – elementary school children – still walk to school on their own even nowadays. They walk to school and go home on foot. Those kids who go to private school, they have to learn how to catch trains starting at 1st grade.
“I’ve seen some kids on the train after school. They fell asleep, then they miss their stop, and they’re panicking to get off. I’ve seen many kids like that especially after school because they’re tired. They wake up and they’re like, ‘oh! Where am I? Ah!’ They get their little flip phones out and say, ‘Mom, where am I?’
High school: “Walk back to the train station, catch the train, go home”
“Middle school is seventh, eighth and ninth [grade] for us. So, public [middle] schools, that is in the school district. But from the tenth [grade] we have to take exams – entrance exams – to go to high school. So, wherever you’re accepted, and you want to go, most of the times you have to catch trains because there’re not that many high schools. Unless you live by there, you can ride bicycle.
“But I took trains, so my day started like I rode my bicycle to the nearest train station, park it there, and catch train in the morning. I had to catch two different trains to get to my high school. Just from my train station to somewhere else. Then catch another train to go to the train station that’s near my high school. And then from there, I walked like 15 minutes. That was the daily thing.
“You guys ride buses. My husband said that he had to be on the bus for 45 minutes every day because he lived outside of the city. So, it was the same way, from the time that I left my house, it was probably nearly an hour to get to my high school.
“After school I played sports and then about 5:30 or so, we leave school, walk back to the train station, catch the train, go home. And then weekend, sometimes we friends gather, meet each other at the train station, and then catch train. And then in Tokyo a lot of train stations have malls attached to them. So, a lot of times, even though it’s raining, you don’t have to walk outside.
“Oh! But starting at about 7 o’clock it’s packed! Each train has probably 10, 11 cars and all packed and it comes every 5 to 7 minutes if not shorter, and all packed up until probably 8:30. So basically, the rush hours you get in, and there are train masters that work on the platform, and then they basically push people, so the doors can finally close. We’re like ‘aaaahhh!’ I hated it.
Life and the Social Scene:
“I guess [we did] typical things: shopping, amusement parks, Disney Land. We went to Disney Land, a friend and I used to go there like every 6 months.
“When I was single, I just enjoyed catching up with my friends. ‘Hey! Where do you want to eat?’ Because after college we spread out, different jobs.
“In Tokyo, there’s so many places to eat. Shibuya, that was an easy place for us to meet location wise because my friends and I just had different locations to work. Or Shinjuku. Either Shinjuku or Shibuya. We just picked a restaurant. ‘Ah! Did you know that opened up?’ ‘That’s a new restaurant’
“We would eat Italian, Ramen, different things. Back then we tried to eat and stay at one place long, so we could catch up. Sometimes we ate and then went ‘Okay, we’re done eating.’ And then went to like a coffee shop to chat or something.
“Usually Japanese malls, the top floor is all just filled with restaurants. That’s the common thing. Like coffee shops and stuff might be different floors.
Holidays and Religious Life:
“New Years is the biggest holiday. So, a lot of people in Japan are Buddhists, so at midnight a lot of temples ring their bells, and then that’s a sign ‘ok it’s Near Years.’ And then some people might go watch the first sunrise and start the New Year. They celebrate 3 long days at least, that’s common…
“And then we don’t do Christmas, but for Santa Claus’ sake, we eat cake, and what’s also common is a chicken. They eat fried chicken or something. KFC is very popular for that day for those who don’t have time to cook. KFC bucket of chicken and the cake… I don’t know why cake. A lot of people order Christmas cakes ahead of time, and then they eat those things on Christmas eve because that’s when Santa Claus comes.
“Girls day in March. March 3rd is Girl’s Day. If your family has a daughter or daughters, they celebrate that day. It’s for wishing them to grow well. May 5th is Boy’s Day, but actually Children’s Day, but mainly they celebrate boys then.
“New Years, during those three days – or even if you don’t make, it can be later on – it’s common for them to go either to a shrine or temple to pray for a good year or good health for the year.
“They don’t have weekly service or anything like that like we Christians have, but any occasions if you’re facing big exam or work interview or whatever, they go up to shrine and then there’s a box that you put offering. You throw offering or coins or whatever. Then there’s a bell with a rope coming down, and you ring it and then pray to their god. So it’s everywhere, and then it’s open all the time. You just go up and pray. It’s just tradition.
“Japanese have a mixed culture. Shintoism is their own religion, but somehow when Buddhism came in, it got mixed up. So, it seems like now a lot of Japanese use shrines for happy occasions and then Buddhism temples for death, so a lot of Japanese have funerals at temples.
“They don’t know the difference. It’s just wrapped up in the tradition.
“We have to cremate, that’s a law, because we don’t have the land. We bring – why do I keep saying we? They bring the ashes to the graveyard that’s attached to the temple.
“Me growing up, my parents – both sides – had their ancestors tomb stones in one temple. That doesn’t happen often. That’s very rare.
“‘My mom’s side their temple is whatever, and my dad’s side their temple is whatever.’ That’s common, but my mom and dad – both sides – they happen to have their ancestors buried at the same temple.
“It’s a huge temple in a prefecture called Nagano. We – they gather and pray every certain year for the people in your family who died in the past. That’s how I was taken to that temple quite often. Maybe like once a year whatever because somebody says, ‘Ah! Grandma’s seventh death anniversary, we have to go.’
City Life and Safety:
“Tokyo’s very safe. You still have to watch your purses and stuff. Probably the worse crime in Tokyo is pickpocketing. When you’re on the train and it’s packed, you really have to hold on to your purse just in case.
“A lot of women still walk outside like 10:00 at night. You still have to be cautious, but women still walk until 9:30 or walk to the train station or they go out and eat and go home like 9. They might catch a cab because they’re tired. It’s very safe, you just have to guard yourself. You may want to avoid the back streets and stuff, but as long as you’re on the main street you’re pretty safe.
“And we don’t have guns – not that I’m against guns – it’s just the culture; we don’t have guns. Crimes happen, but still we consider it very safe. Pickpocketing is probably the worse crime in Tokyo.”
